Thankful Mom of Five, Adoptive Mom of Two Ukrainian Beauties and Bereaved Mom

        Today I am thankful that Olivia put up the Christmas Village.  I was not going to bother with it but she put it up and I am really glad.  It looks cute and festive. She also added some Santa photos from over the years.  We need to get some new light bulbs for the village because several of them are burned out. Dan usually puts a train around the tree but he is working on adding to it so he isn't doing it this year.  Olivia also decorated the banister and it looks so pretty!         My sciatica pain has returned.  I was at the dentist today and he suggested that I go to a chiropractor so I made an appointment,  I'll try anything!  He also is going to let me use his cold laser.  Cold laser therapy is low-intensity laser therapy that stimulates healing while using low levels of light. The technique is called “cold” laser therapy because the low levels of light aren’t enough to heat your body’s tiss...

         I am AFRAID to write this because I don't want to jinx myself but I am feeling less pain today!!! It is not all gone but it is definitely better!!! My friend Jill was right about getting the oxygen treatments. I am thankful for the hyperbaric chamber because that seems to be what has helped me the most!!           Today I am  also  thankful that I have an appointment with a new pain management doctor. My brother-in-law told me about her and said she is wonderful and that he has referred many of his law practice clients to her and everyone he knows loves her.  I called to make an appointment but they said I had to be referred by a physician, not a friend or relative.  So I asked the hyperbaric chamber doc to write me a referral which he did right away. They called my family doctor's office and whoever answered said they never heard of me!! Geez, I've been a patient there over 20 years and Dan and my three ...

         Today I am thankful that we received a thank you note from the person who received the Amy Marie Fledderman Memorial Scholarship at Penn State University.  When Amy died we set up a scholarship fund at our bank.  We donated that money to our church in Amy's name to fund some of the missionary work in our church,  We could nt decide what to do with the money for the longest time.  It felt that we would be losing ll of Amy if we ever gave it away.  We kept it in the bank for about 16 years.  One day Dan suggested that we donate it to the bank after hearing a story about a little girl named Hattie May who had saved her money for a new church. Amy was always so generous to everyone.  For the longest time, the donated money sat in a bank fund. We just couldn't give it away because it was connected to Amy.  After hearing the story of Hattie May by our pastor, we decided to donate the money to our church in Amy's memory....

Today I am thankful that I lost two pounds!!  I am in pain so I have to think twice about getting up to go to the kitchen to get a snack!!  It isn't much but hey, I'll take it!!!!  Maybe I should be thankful for sciatica! I am thankful that there are so many kind and thoughtful people that hold doors open for me.  Some people go out of their way to help me when they see me approaching with a walker. My sister thinks I should get a walker with a basket and a seat built in. I am looking to rid myself of my walker but just am not there yet!  I keep hoping that I will wake up one day with less pan.!

         Today I am thankful for Olya's artistic talent.  She made this Christmas box for me!  I am using it to put our Christmas paper products in.  I purchased a few packages of Christmas paper plates, cups, napkins, and bowls.  The box looks really festive filled with the Christmas products!With my painful sciatica, we have been using a ton of disposable paper products.  It is so much easier right now for me to throw away paper products than to fill the dishwasher and then have to empty it. Olya painted the box and then decorated it.  I just love it!! Dan drove Olya back to school today,  I really miss her! Olya is so easy to have at home.  She worked today at the Bagel place and worked one day last week.  She made enough in pay and enough in tips to pay for the 76ers tickets she bought for her boyfriend for Christmas.  Olya is very responsible with her money and she budgets well. Dan decided to stay overnight...

           I am thankful that Dan put up Amy's Christmas tree and my dad's Christmas tree at the cemetery.. This is a very difficult post to write as it is extremely difficult to feel thankful about things related to having a deceased child.  For some reason, watching Dan bang the stakes into the ground to anchor the tree is very hard for me to watch. My eyes always fill with tears. No dad should be staking in a Christmas Tree on his daughter's grave.  We should be helping Amy decorate a tree at her house. No more words to say about this.

          Today I am thankful that Dan and I got to see Olya play in the field hockey alumni game! I couldn't walk down to the field so I watched mostly from the car but we did go down near the end of the game to watch! The alumni won!! Women, some graduates from 20 years ago come back and played in the game against the high school varsity team.  The Seniors play with the alumni because the official season is over so they really are alumni now! When we dropped her off she mentioned that she needed $25 for an alumni shirt that she ordered!! We were excited to watch her play.  Dan and I rarely missed a game when she played in high school. It is a really fun sport and the girls on Olya's team were all so nice and they all got along so well!!          I am also thankful that I filled in all of my rebate forms and finished wrapping the gifts I purchased on Black Friday(it really was on Thanksgiving Day).  I think T...

         Today I am thankful that the girls and Frankie decorated Gingerbread houses!! They came out so adorable.  I usually decorate one but I didn't this year because my back and sciatica are bothering me so much!  I am thankful they all had a good time and laughed together and chatted!! I am thankful to have heard the laughter!!          Olivia and Frankie went shopping this morning.  They said that the mall was mobbed and they would never go again on Black Friday!! They said it was much better to shop last night!

         Today I am thankful that we celebrated THANKSGIVING!! Dan and I always go to the cemetery first to spend some time with Amy.  I love being together as a family.  After dinner, my sister, and Dan and I went Black Friday shopping.  As usual we spent too much money.  I think I am better just buying online. Olya and Renee went to a different huge mall.  Olya and Renee each got two Free $25 coupons because the store was giving them out as they entered the door!!! My sciatica was awful but I managed to shop anyway!!🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃

         Today I am thankful that I went to hear a friend speak at an Naranon meeting Mon. night.  Dan and Olivia also went to hear our friend speak.  She is an amazing speaker!! Her son struggles with drug addiction.  She is a powerful force in his life and her talk was very powerful.  She is a nurse practitioner and works with people with addictions.  We have a family member who struggled with addiction but fortunately, it seems to have been a one and done situation.  I have so many friends in my bereaved parent groups that have lost children to addiction.  I am thankful that many drug addicts get clean and sober in their lifetimes. Last night my night time bereaved parent group went to a pottery painting night.  I was sitting with my friend Priscilla. There were about 6 other moms at the table with us. Every mom at our table, with the exception of Priscilla and I, lost their adult children to drug addiction.Olivia and O...

         Today I am thankful for all that I have in my life. With the huge exception of Amy's tragic and untimely and unnecessary death, I am thankful for the life God gave me. I will never understand to my last breath why she had to die but I am very thankful for the almost 19 years she was alive and in our family. She lives in my heart forever. Amy was loved by so many. I have been married a long time to Dan, gave birth to three healthy, talented and gifted children and adopted two amazing girls who are smart,sweet, and talented. Amy always wanted to adopt so I feel like the gifts of Olivia and Olya were partly from Amy.  Olivia was read by a psychic at our bereaved parent meeting.  The psychic told Olivia that Amy said she  feels a strong connection as sisters with Olivia even though they never met in this lifetime.  Dan grew his own successful business and provided nicely for us, I taught and grew my own business as well. There were s...

         Today I am thankful that my three closest long time friends took me out for a birthday lunch yesterday!! It's the birthday that never ends!! I just LOVE these three women. We had the best time ever. We have a birthday club but we meet other times too!  They are all so funny, we laugh so much that my stomach hurts!! We also discuss world and national events, if ONLY we could run the country and/or the world! We most definitely could not do worse than Trump!(WE are NOT trump lovers by any means). The restaurant we ate at had their Christmas decorations up already!!          Today I am getting another shot in my back.  I hope it works!!                                                                                  ...

         Today I am thankful that I spent my birthday with Dan, my daughters, son-in-law,  and Olivia's boyfriend Frankie.  I ordered take-out for everyone and we played board games!! It was so much fun! The girls lost in TABOO.  Frankie and Adam really were good at the game! I loved all of my gifts, especially the blanket from my three daughters. Olya had the idea for the blanket and called the other two.  Renee and Adam also gave me a Kate Spade purse!! Since Olivia shops in my closet, I guess the purse was really for her! Olivia even modeled wearing it! And Frankie gave me a gift card to Paneras!! I am at Paneras at least once a week! I am thankful for a wonderful birthday with the people I love. Dan gave me 3 pair of scissors because all of my scissors are missing!!! I use to have about 7 pairs. And NOBODY ever used them or took them!  Amazing how that happens! Here are my best gifts ever, if Amy was alive and in t...

         Today I am thankful that my best friend Priscilla came over last night. She picked up take-out for us from Paneras and I made popcorn. We chatted and played Parcheesi!! I haven't played that game in years! We had so much fun!! We laughed so much! She brought over Princess hats since today is my birthday.  Dan came home from his trip with Renee and Olya!   Skinny Priscilla lost over 30 pounds!!  I am so thankful and happy that Olya is home for a week!! Dan and Renee and Olya went shopping at a few outlets today n the way home from picking her up at college for her Thanksgiving break!!  Olya bought a new outfit for Thanksgiving. while they were shopping. she got a really cute skirt and a nw sweater to go with it.  I let Olya have $600 a semester of her money for spending money at college.  Olya has $250 left! She told me that she thought she was only permitted to spend $300 a semester!  Olya is very good wit...

            Today I am  so thankful that my daughter Olivia has been helping me.  She is in so much pain herself from her implants but she is still helping me so that I don't have to get up as much!! Olivia is off from school until her mouth heals.  She would only have two days next week because she is off Wed-Fri for Thanksgiving break. She took a medical leave until after the Thanksgiving break. If Olivia feels up to it, we may go shopping for a bit tomorrow.  I wonder how I'll do with a cane or walker in the snowy areas! Hopefully, the  parking lots will be plowed. I was on a fabulous purging cycle until I got sciatica.  I cleaned out so much stuff.  When Dan brings down the Christmas boxes, I will purge again!!         My two cats ruined my leather-like ottoman in front of the couch.  Even though they have a HUGE scratching tower, they are always at the ottoman!! I ordered a new end table...

         Today I am thankful that I had lunch with my bereaved mom friends yesterday.  They are all so wonderful and such caring women.  We talked about what to do with our children's clothes. I have gotten rid of most of Amy's clothes over the years.  I know she would never wear something that out of date.  Some of the moms cleaned out their children's clothes right away and other moms have not been able to do that yet. It is a very emotional experience. There is no right or wrong because there is so much sadness either way.  Amy in her freshman dorm room at PSU (Amy would be 36 if she hadn't died) Adriana lost her daughter Aimee at age 13 about 3 years ago.  She has an older daughter who is now an only living child.  Family dynamics and birth order changes with the death of a child. My Amy is forever 18, I can't imagine her as an adult or married or with children of her own. Amy is now my youngest child. It is strange wh...

         Today I am thankful that I will be having a meeting and lunch with my bereaved mom group.  I always look forward to seeing all of the moms. Next month we will be meeting at a Christmas Garden exhibit.  I don't know if I will be able to make that meeting due to my sciatica.  There is a great deal of walking around at the exhibit. I keep hoping that my sciatica will be less painful.                   Last night, Olivia and I had a sleepover!  When she was little, we had a sleepover every Fri night.  She was always so excited about it.  She would get so excited about the little things in life and she was always so full of joy! It was so much fun to be around her! One little girl helped heal our broken hearts.  Last night we were laying on my bed and chatting. I said "Let's have a sleepover."  I had to ask several times but she finally agreed! We had so much fun cha...

         Today I am thankful that I finished wrapping a few more  Christmas presents.  I also ordered a few things online. I only order online when there is a physical store that I can return the item to if it doesn't fit.  I found that I ordered a lot online from Boscovs this year.. I went to the Hyperbaric Chamber yesterday and I am going again today but I haven't really found any relief from the pain yet.  At the end of tis week, I will have had 9 sessions. I hope I am not one of the people who the chamber doesn't work for, it is supposed to help 2/3 of the patients who use it. After I go in the chamber, I am going to go to the marijuana superstore with my friend Joann. I am going to get a cream/lotion with THC, maybe that will do the trick to help my pain. Olivia's boyfriend's niece was in the hospital overnight last week.  I bought a small bracelet for her and Olivia wrapped it.  She took it to his house on Sun afternoon....

         Today I am thankful that Olivia is a sweet and kind young woman. She told us last night that she wants to drive around the city with Dan and give hats and gloves to homeless people on the streets. Last year our church asked people to bring in gently used or new hats, gloves, scarves etc to fill the altar with donated goods.  Olivia took the scarf from her neck and walked it up to the front of the church and donated it. I also have a few blankets she could give to homeless people on the streets. She has given money out to them before.  Dan and I went to the Dollar Tree store, a Goodwill store and to a KMART that is going out of business to see if we could find hats and gloves that weren't too expensive.  We struck out.  It is difficult to find male hats and gloves reasonably priced. I guess I'll check online to see if we can buy some cheaply in bulk. I think I will suggest that she start a GoFundMe page. I don't even know how ...

         Today I am thankful that I started wrapping Christmas gifts!! I am anal and like to have everything done in advance, then I can enjoy the month of Dec.! I purchased most of my gifts online.  Dan and I have been frequenting an Ollie's when we go to  visit Olya! I got a good deal on the toys I purchased.  My friend Debbie's granddaughter Brielle loves crafts and they have a big craft section for kids. I purchased a huge bag of toys for the poor children that our church supplies gifts for.  In a very poor section of the city, a church sets up a  toy "store" of donated brand new gifts.  I think each child gets to choose two gifts.  I purchased a boatload of toys at Ollie's.  I like to donate a Hefty bag size of new toys to their store.  That is a charity that you know gives directly to the children.          I am going to give Olivia and Olya $100 to shop for themselves on Black Frida...

                   Today I am thankful that my bathroom scale is still being my friend!! I didn't know if it would be a real friend or a fickle friend! It is usually a fickle friend!  My sister had a health scare a few days ago but she is fine.  Olivia and I bought her a Carvel ice cream cake!  It has been in  my freezer a few days. We were going to take it to her the other night but Olivia was in pain from the broken screw in her mouth! My sister's husband had called her from work to see what time we were going to do the cake because he didn't want to miss out!! We decided to have the cake last night and my sister was going to come here because Olivia was still in pain from her mouth!  Then my sister called me and said her husband was sick but she would still come over.  We sent a piece of cake home with her for him!! I shouldn't have eaten a piece of the cake but I did and it was delicious!! Who can res...