Day 324 of 365 Days of Being Thankful

         Today I am thankful for all that I have in my life. With the huge exception of Amy's tragic and untimely and unnecessary death, I am thankful for the life God gave me. I will never understand to my last breath why she had to die but I am very thankful for the almost 19 years she was alive and in our family. She lives in my heart forever. Amy was loved by so many.
I have been married a long time to Dan, gave birth to three healthy, talented and gifted children and adopted two amazing girls who are smart,sweet, and talented. Amy always wanted to adopt so I feel like the gifts of Olivia and Olya were partly from Amy.  Olivia was read by a psychic at our bereaved parent meeting.  The psychic told Olivia that Amy said she  feels a strong connection as sisters with Olivia even though they never met in this lifetime.  Dan grew his own successful business and provided nicely for us, I taught and grew my own business as well. There were some lean years but all in all we always lived a decent life and provided for our kids. But Dan and I can never be truly happy again, there will always be a huge hole in our hearts until we take our last breaths. I am so thankful for my supportive friends and family.  My sister-in-law Pennie is so sweet and caring.  She never ever forgets about Amy and I appreciate that so much. She sent me a birthday card that said the best thing about birthdays is spending the time with friends and family and she is so right!!







This statue is called "Emptiness" and was created by a grieving parent. It is a great attempt at describing how a parent feels after losing a child.







The BEST Birthday presents!!!


I worked at my dream job of working with severely reading disabled and dyslexic students.  We are not super wealthy but we have enough money to live a very good life and educate all of our children and take family vacations. I have the best friends on the planet.  I don't have some of the best friends on the planet, I have the BEST  best friends. Priscilla and Debbie L. understand and support me in a way that those who have not lost a child can't understand. Debbie L sent me a birthday card with lottery tickets from another state where she lives  and said "Mail the tickets back if they are winners and I'll cash them in and keep/spend the money."   LOL, she is too funny!!  Jackie, Carol, Nancy, and my deceased friend Linda, are the best friends ever! They never flinch or change the subject when I talk about Amy. Deb G, from church, never judged me when I had difficulty with my faith.  She continued to be my loyal friend.  My night time bereaved moms, especially Kim, Kathy, and Marianne are wonderful women whom I am blessed to have as friends. My day time bereaved mom group are the most supportive and most wonderful women who live their grief stricken lives with grace and dignity. I reconnected with an old friend who tragically lost her son to a brain aneurysm. Roe is such a wonderful friend.  And my book club friends are so nice!! There is not one person in the group who tries to run it or take over the conversation and that is rare!! My friend Nancy and my friend Amy B came to Amy's trial and that is a debt I can never repay. It was so appreciated and I can't put my thank you into words.  My friend Candy always invites me to designer bag BINGO, which I love.  Candy is so funny, she can make anyone laugh with her sarcastic humor. My childhood friend Leslie is so kind and generous despite living with her own grief.  And I really like her friend Helen, who I think is also my friend now TOO! My college friends Mary and Joann have been my friends since we were 17 years old. They were so supportive when I lost Amy. My adoptive mom ,hysterically funny, friend Joni always tries to help whenever she can. I also have wonderful online friends and I appreciate them so much!  Thank you Lord for my life but I would give it all back/away if I could have all of my children alive. Since that is impossible, I will have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and be grateful for the wonderful friends and family that share my life.

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