Thankful Mom of Five, Adoptive Mom of Two Ukrainian Beauties and Bereaved Mom

        Today I am thankful for our civil trial lawyer Slade McLaughlin. I just finished reading Red Notice, a non-fiction book about passage of the Magnitsky Act in Congress. Sergei Magnitsky, a Russian attorney, was falsely imprisoned, tortured, and savagely beaten to death for exposing financial corruption by Russian police and Russian oligarchs.  Reading about the lengths Bill Browder, an American citizen and client/friend of Magnitsky, went through to get the act passed into law, reminded me of everything Slade did to try to get some civil justice for Amy. It took us seven years to get to civil court after Amy died.  I went to the DA, Bruce Castor at the time, to try to get criminal charges brought against Glunk. Castor did a fake investigation because he didn't want me to go to the media. I also filed complaints with the State Board of Medicine and the State Health Department. I gave an interview to the newspaper because they...

        Today I am thankful for classic TV shows, especially Hogan's Heroes. The setting of the show was a fictionalized POW camp in Germany.  Hogan and his fellow POWs did everything they could to sabotage the work of the Germans.   Last night Dan and I watched the show because we don't like a lot of the regular TV shows that are on now.  Watching the show reminded me of my dad.  He LOVED that show. I remember sitting next to him on the couch and laughing at the crazy things that the characters did.  It's a really nice memory. My dad died at age 61 from stomach cancer and I still really miss him. I think I spoke to him or saw him almost everyday of my life. He came to my house everyday after work.  He would pick up Amy from daycare and they would both be watching cartoons when I got home from work.  He was such a good and caring man and father and grandfather.  His favorite character was Sarg...

                    Today I am thankful for my internet friends.  I have met so many kind and wonderful friends online. In particular, the bereaved moms I have met are so kind and so caring.  It always amazes me that the people who are living with the most hurt are the kindest people. I met my friend Nina online many years ago when Amy first died and I still think about how nice and supportive she was and is. I also have met many kind adoptive parents online. I wish I could meet all of them in person but that is not to be.  Years ago, I met a woman named Chris from New Zealand.  She lost her daughter Lucy the same year Amy died. I could never sleep at night and New Zealand is on the opposite time schedule so we chatted all the time, probably close to two years.  We are now Facebook friends.. I met my good friend Debbie, another bereaved mom, online and in perso...

       Today I am thankful for the video I watched on my Facebook feed. It was about a researcher from Brigham Young University who did a study to predict how long people would live. The researcher ad her team gathered all the pertinent information from tens of thousands of people.  They recorded whether people were lean or overweight, smoked, drank, exercised, ate a healthy diet, got a flu shot, etc.  Then they  waited seven years and reported their findings. One would think that being thin, exercising, and s healthy diet would be the top predictors of a longer life. The top predictors were surprising.  What they found was that the top predictors of living longer were social interactions.  The second to the top predictor was social interactions with your close group of friends, people you rely on and can count on.  I have such wonderful, close friends who have stood by me before and after Amy died.  Lots of p...

    Today I am thankful for Aleve and Advil.  Somehow I strained/hurt my back.  I think it was because I stripped and put clean sheets on my bed last night before I went to bed.  I bent a certain way and felt a stab of pain! That will teach me!  I guess I shouldn't worry so much about changing the bed sheets every week! In my head, I am 35 and feel like I should be able to do everything I did back then!  I took one Aleve and it barely worked so then I took an Advil an hour later and the pain subsided a little. Just think of life without aspirin or ibuprofen. I hate being immobile and not being able to clean, especially on a Sat., which is my heavy cleaning day.  I didn't even care about food so I knew the pain was worse than normal! What would we do without OTC pain meds?  With the opioid crisis so bad, many docs are not prescribing narcotics. It's good that there are OTC meds, I am thinking that their stocks must be going up ...

          I am thankful for the public library.  I went to the library yesterday and picked up a book that I had put on reserve.  The library is full of so many wonderful books, dvds, computers, etc. The best thing is that the books are free to borrow!  I just love books! If I were rich, I'd spend most of my time reading.  Books are always so much better than TV or movies. I recently read the book Plain Truth which I bought for $1 from the used book cart at the library.  I also rented the DVD for $1 after I read the book.  The movie was a poor representation of the book.  I rarely think that a movie is as good as a book that I've read.  The library also has a book club.  It is open to anyone, male or female.  I occasionally attend if I've read the book recently.  Last night I went because they were discussing Plain Truth.   The librarian runs the book club.  She is ...

              Today I am thankful for my  iRobot Braava jet floor cleaner. Dan bought it for me for Christmas. I have a bad back but I love having a clean house. My Roomba takes care of the carpets and now the Braava jet takes care of the tile floors.  You just fill it with hot water and off it goes.  It runs for about 25-30 minutes and then the battery needs to be recharged. I love it, it keeps the tile floors so clean.  I have large  beige tiles on the kitchen floor and they can show a lot of dirt. With the Braava jet, my floors look as good as if I mopped them by hand.  There is a larger model but Dan read the reviews and this smaller model had much better reviews. There are easy to attach disposable pads on the bottom that need to be replaced after every cleaning. There are some washable pads available so I will order a package and see if they clean even better. The cost for the Br...

                  Today I am thankful that I got my rebates in the mail.  On Black Friday I bought a ton of Christmas gifts at Macys. Some of the items had rebates for them.  The rebates came in the form of Visa cards.  On the Visa cards, it says debit.  We tried to use the cards last night and they were declined.  I came home and read more of the rebate instructions and even though the cards say Debit on them, they have to be used as Credit cards, not Debit cards.  I have a feeling that a lot of people never redeem the rebates because it is so confusing to use the cards. I had given a few of them to Olivia but she gave them back to me because they were all declined.  Then after I read the instructions for use, she wanted the cards back.  I am wondering why I purchased the items, mailed in the upc code and filled out the rebate forms and  Olivia gets to u...

     Today I am thankful for our family doctor.  He is such a good doctor and a good person.  I think some of the ER staff must think that I have Munchausen  syndrome by proxy. It is  is a mental health problem in which a caregiver makes up or causes an illness or injury in a person under his or her care, such as a child.  Olivia has been to the ER so many times! The first week she was in the U.S., Dan took her bike riding and she fell off the bike on a gravel path and opened the skin on her arm and elbow. She got kicked in the eye at cheerleading and had to go to the ER. Another time she lifted a girl too heavy and herniated several discs in her back. After she injured her back at cheerleading, the ER is a constant place we visit. Before her spinal fusion surgery, we were at the ER at least once a month.  Sometimes she would get admitted because her pain was so severe.  Because of the opioid epidemic in the...

        Today I am thankful that I lost 4 pounds.  I just love food and it is always calling my name! I probably will gain back the 4 pounds.  I don't know how people can stick to a diet.  I am trying to eat more fruits and vegetables. I have been heating the veggies up in the microwave.  I put in shredded carrots, celery, cauliflower, spinach, broccoli,  and a few won ton noodles in a bowl and click reheat on the panel.  Sometimes I add chicken or egg whites. It tastes good, is filling and easy to make. The biggest problem that I have is that I always want something sweet afterwards.  Somehow I think my mind believes the veggies are an appetizer and then I want to eat other stuff!

    Today I am thankful for music, especially church music.  I can not sing at all but I sing with a joyful voice, it's just way off key!  Singing songs in church makes me feel closer to God, I usually sing  or think about the song throughout the day.  We sang one of my favorite hymns today. I think the words speak volumes. I think the song teaches me to try to be joyful everyday, 10,000 reasons.  I pasted the words below. Some days it is very difficult, as a bereaved mom, to be joyful or thankful but I am doing the best I can. Bless the Lord, O my soul, O my soul Worship His Holy name Sing like never before, O my soul I'll worship Your Holy name The sun comes up It's a new day dawning It's time to sing Your song again Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me Let me be singing when the evening comes Bless the Lord, O my soul, O my soul Worship His Holy name Sing like never before, o my soul I'll worship Your Holy name You're rich in love...

        Today I am thankful for the church I belong to and worship at.  It is a non-denominational Bible-based church.  I always feel better after I go to church. I think that listening to the word of the Lord helps me try to live a better life.  While I am in church I am a total believer.  It's after I leave that I have doubts.  There are so many evil and bad things that happen in the world.  I hope that it is because of free choice and not because God doesn't listen to prayers. I like that the church has two huge screens at the front of the altar. Sometimes I can't see the tiny words in the Bible or the hymnal so I am thankful that the words are printed on the screens. I like that my church does kind things.  At Christmas we were asked to bring coats, new or slightly used, scarves, hats and mittens and gloves.  The altar was piled so high with the donations that were going to be distributed to shelters and to the homeless ...

        Today I am grateful that Olivia got a $500 scholarship to cosmetology  school! The cost is close to $20,000 but every little bit helps!  The school is really nice and we met the owner and some of the instructors.  I am excited for Olivia to attend there. Olivia is beyond excited to attend.  I just hope she realizes that it is a lot of work! I think it will be a very small class.  Their larger classes start in Sept. I am going to pay monthly so that if she doesn't like it, I won't lose as much money that way.

      Today I am thankful that Olivia's back shots didn't have any complications.  She got an epidural steroid injection.( An epidural steroid injection (ESI) is a combination of a corticosteroid with a local anesthetic pain relief medicine. Corticosteroids are strong anti-inflammatory medicines. Relieving swelling and inflammation can take pressure off nerves and other soft tissues, which can relieve pain.)       She got four shots in her back. She had spinal fusion surgery a few years ago. That surgery took away about 75% of her pain but he still needs shots in her back from her pain management doctor. Her pain management doc actually was a resident years ago under her surgeon.  It is a small world! Her surgeon and pain management doc work for two different healthcare organizations.(video that shows the procedure)  https://www.spine-health.com/video/epidural-steroid-injections-back-pain-and-leg-pain-video#.WmDLptQKULs.email Olivia ...

     Today I am thankful for the few minutes that I got to hold Olivia on my lap last night. We were each taking turns holding our cat Nittany.  We were singing the Big Bang Theory Soft Kitty song. I can't sing well at all, but we love the song!  After the cat jumped down I grabbed Olivia onto my lap and sang the song to her.  I didn't have Olivia as a baby so I am glad whenever I get a few minutes to hug her or hold her on my lap. She is 20 years old but still very huggable! Her hair always smells so good. Those Ukrainian genes are something she should be happy she has. Ukraine makes beautiful children. My younger daughter Olya is writing a speech for her Public Speaking Class in college. Her instructor told the class that they had to pick something meaningful that helped describe a part of themselves.  She is writing about her Ukrainian heritage. I think the other students will be surprised when she talks about being born in Ukraine, living in an...

      Today I am thankful for my friend Pricilla.  She and I have been close friends for a few years. She is my best friend .We totally get each other! We met online on a bereaved parent Facebook group. I invited her to come to a monthly evening meeting of bereaved parents.  She lost her adult daughter Krissy several years ago. She is such a nice, kind, and loyal friend. We both like the same TLC TV shows, and we like to discuss them.  It is our guilty pleasure. We both love 90 Day Fiance'. This is one of the couples from 90 Day Fiance'. The woman is from Russia and she looks a lot like my daughter Olivia who is half Russian and half Ukrainian,      Only another bereaved parent could fully understand the loss of my beloved daughter Amy. The loss is something that eats away part of your soul, it is lifelong and never ending.  It's a pain no one would wish on their worst enemy. Priscilla and I love to go to flea markets and t...

         Today I am grateful for the wildlife in my backyard.        I love watching all of the birds come and go.  They can empty my bird feeder in a day or so!  Of course, the squirrels can empty it in an afternoon. For Christmas, Dan bought me a second bird feeder.  This bird feeder has a compressed pack of birdseed that is inserted into the bird feeder. It looks like a small log.  Dan said that the bird seed is spicy and the squirrels don't like it. The birds love it but the squirrels leave it alone.  The log is colorful. I love being a bird watcher.  Renee knows a lot of the names of the birds from their bird calls. She asked me if I knew the names of the birds and their calls.  I told her that my birds don't care if I know their calls or their names, they are just happy eating at my feeders. I know that I have robins, blue jays, and  goldfinches. They all go crazy whenever our cat N...

    I am grateful that I got to spend the day with Olya and Olivia yesterday.  We went to visit Olya at college and took her out to eat. Olya was off on Mon due to Martin Luther King Day so we stayed overnight Sun. night.  It's always nice to get away for a day or two.  We also went bowling and out to dinner at Hong Kong City! I love to spend time with my daughters!  We got to her college and picked her up about noon. Of course we had to go out to eat right away even though Dan and Olivia got burgers at Burger King on the way. I thought they wouldn't be hungry again that quickly.  Apparently I was wrong.  We went to a diner that Olya really likes. Then we went clothes shopping.  The girls each got a few items. After eating and shopping, they were so exhausted that we had to go back to the hotel so they could all take a nap. Even I fell asleep for twenty minutes.  After everyone was rested up, we went bowling. Olya's boyfriend Matt ...