Day 129 of 365 Days of Being Thankful
Today I am thankful that I am having lunch with my bereaved moms daytime group. Bereaved moms just seem to connect, it doesn't matter income level, age, education, or how their child died.
We just seem to find each other. My friend Priscilla and I met two bereaved moms when we were out at garage sales. When I was working for a school district, I had to go see one of the district's students at an Intermediate Unit school which was housed in the police station building. He had serious behavior issues but I really liked working with him. His classroom teacher was very strict, she had to be. But there was something special about her. I just felt a bond with her. At the time I thought it was because we both worked with "challenging" students as our careers.. I never really had time to talk to her because she was busy teaching when I came to her classroom to get my student. One day there was a sub when I went to get my student. My student had told me that his teacher left for a few hours to give one of her "Timmy Talks." Timmy was her teenage son who had died from a drug overdose and she spoke at high schools, treatment centers, and community groups. I spoke to her when she returned to school. Her son was a really great guy who made a stupid mistake. He did heroin once and died from it. In Joe Biden's book, .Promise Me, Dad, I think Joe wrote that one in 12 families live with a devastating loss of a family member. And that we all look normal, like we are surviving, functioning and living normal lives. So none of us really can tell the pain people are living with. I am thinking of my close friends and the losses they live with. I know my friend Jackie lost her brother years ago, my friend Leslie lost both of her parents before she was an adult, my friend Joni lost her dad when she was 3, my friend Amy lost her mom when she was young , and my friend Mary lost her brother when we were in college. No one is immune from child loss. Many celebrities and politicians have lost children. Fame and money are no protection against child loss. The Kennedy family, the Bush family, and the Biden family have all lost children. John Travolta and Sylvester Stallone lost their sons. Eric Clapton lost a son which inspired him to write Stairway to Heaven, Paul Newman lost a son, and Marie Osmond lost a son. I was just watching a talk show and learned that Carol Burnett lost an adult daughter. I think I read years ago that Johnny Carson lost a son. Anna Nicole Smith lost her son shortly after she had her baby daughter. And Bobby Brown recently lost his daughter Krissy. There are too many people in this club that no one wants to join.
Our group meets at Paneras which is nice because no one has work to do to set anything up. There are about 7 regular members and a few that attend occasionally. We are going to discuss our feelings connected with Mother's Day. It's a very sensitive topic for all of the members because Mother's Day is forever different for us. Mother's Day is usually a day of great joy and celebration. It can be extremely painful for bereaved moms. It can take the breathe out of a mom just to think about how much their child is missed and loved forever. I found a few things online that we can discuss.
I always like to have a topic to discuss at the meetings, if not, we get off subject too easily. I am thankful that everyone in the group is supportive of each other. Our children were all so wonderful and so special. In our group meetings, we can talk about our deceased children and it doesn't make anyone uncomfortable. I am so thankful for this special group of moms! I am also thankful for my close friends who are ok with me talking about Amy. I have met so many wonderful people since Amy's death but I wish I had never had a cause to meet them. I am thankful that they are in my life.
We just seem to find each other. My friend Priscilla and I met two bereaved moms when we were out at garage sales. When I was working for a school district, I had to go see one of the district's students at an Intermediate Unit school which was housed in the police station building. He had serious behavior issues but I really liked working with him. His classroom teacher was very strict, she had to be. But there was something special about her. I just felt a bond with her. At the time I thought it was because we both worked with "challenging" students as our careers.. I never really had time to talk to her because she was busy teaching when I came to her classroom to get my student. One day there was a sub when I went to get my student. My student had told me that his teacher left for a few hours to give one of her "Timmy Talks." Timmy was her teenage son who had died from a drug overdose and she spoke at high schools, treatment centers, and community groups. I spoke to her when she returned to school. Her son was a really great guy who made a stupid mistake. He did heroin once and died from it. In Joe Biden's book, .Promise Me, Dad, I think Joe wrote that one in 12 families live with a devastating loss of a family member. And that we all look normal, like we are surviving, functioning and living normal lives. So none of us really can tell the pain people are living with. I am thinking of my close friends and the losses they live with. I know my friend Jackie lost her brother years ago, my friend Leslie lost both of her parents before she was an adult, my friend Joni lost her dad when she was 3, my friend Amy lost her mom when she was young , and my friend Mary lost her brother when we were in college. No one is immune from child loss. Many celebrities and politicians have lost children. Fame and money are no protection against child loss. The Kennedy family, the Bush family, and the Biden family have all lost children. John Travolta and Sylvester Stallone lost their sons. Eric Clapton lost a son which inspired him to write Stairway to Heaven, Paul Newman lost a son, and Marie Osmond lost a son. I was just watching a talk show and learned that Carol Burnett lost an adult daughter. I think I read years ago that Johnny Carson lost a son. Anna Nicole Smith lost her son shortly after she had her baby daughter. And Bobby Brown recently lost his daughter Krissy. There are too many people in this club that no one wants to join.
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