Day 109 of 365 Days of Being Thankful

        Today I am so thankful for my bereaved parent nighttime support group.  The second meeting of the month is usually sparsely attended. There were only 7 of us there, and 4 of those were 2 couples.  We are all good friends. It is easy to talk to people who "get it."  They get the grief, they get the pain, they get the tiredness, they get the plodding through life, they get the missing your child so much you want to scream, they get the never getting over it, and they get the need to be with others who understand the need to be together.  We can talk about our deceased child without making others uncomfortable or trying to change the subject. My best friend Priscilla was there and I am always so happy to be with her. We just chatted instead of having a real meeting where we discuss topics. Carol and her husband Joe started this local group of Bereaved Parents USA. Below is a small bit about BPUSA from their Facebook page.

Our Story

Bereaved Parents of the USA·

WELCOME

We are the parents whose children have died. We are the siblings whose brothers and sisters no longer walk with us through life. We are the grandparents who have buried grandchildren.

We come together as Bereaved Parents of the USA to provide a safe space where grieving families can connect, share our stories, and learn to rebuild our lives.

We attend meetings whenever we can and for as long as we find helpful. We share our fears, confusion, anger, guilt, frustrations, emptiness, and feelings of hopelessness, knowing these emotions will be met with compassion and understanding. As we support, comfort and encourage one another, we offer hope and healing. As we confront the deaths of our loved ones, our shared grief brings us to a common ground that transcends differences, building mutual understanding across the boundaries of culture, race, faith, values, abilities, and lifestyle.

Together we celebrate the lives of our children, siblings, and grandchildren, sharing the joys and the heartbreaks as well as the love that will never fade. Together, strengthened by the bonds we create, we offer what we have learned from one another to every bereaved family, no matter how recent or long ago the death.

We are the Bereaved Parents of the USA. We welcome you. 

 

         Carol and Joe lost their adult son Sean about 7 years ago to a motorcycle accident.  This past Sunday was Sean's birthday.  Joe had been having a bad cough and Carol insisted he go to get treated somewhere so she didn't have to stab him! He went to a Rite Aid Redi Clinic.  When yo go into those clinics in the stores, you sign into a screen and put your name, insurance info, etc  on the sign-in screen.  Joe filled out the screen with all his info.  After he put all in info on the screen, the nurse practitioner, who I think he said was a male, came out to get him and went over all his info from the screen.  The line where it said Payment guarantor/provided, the name Sean Casey was put there. Joe never signed that.  He has a different address now from where they lived when Sean was alive.  Sean was never on the medical insurance he has now  Joe had his visit and at the end, the NP printed out a visit summary and a payment invoice.  The NP asked Joe who Sean was and Joe said, what are you talking about?  I'm Joe, I do have a son named Sean.  The NP said, his name is on the payment provider.  Joe brought the paper to show us.  The NP wanted to change it and give Joe a new visit summary and payment invoice but Joe wanted to keep the one with Sean's name on it. Sean was even spelled the way that his son's name was spelled, it could have been Shawn or Shaun or Sean and it said Sean Casey. Is that weird or what?  And on Sean's birthday?

       A new bereaved mom, Lisa, came tonight.  She just lost her daughter Carly on Good Friday this year.  Carly died from a drug overdose. She was 19, I am so sad for her mom and for her. After the new mom told us her story, we each told her a brief account of how we lost our beloved children.  When Priscilla started to talk, she first told her story of Krissy's suicide and then how she came to the group. Priscilla and I met online first in some online bereavement groups. I invited her to come to the newly formed nighttime group.  She said that when she met me in person, she was thinking to herself(about me), she looks normal and acts sort of normal(she knew I had been a bereaved mom for about 12 years at the time).  She felt that if I could go on with my life, so could she.  So  I guess I gave her some hope and I am glad about that. 
     
         I found a dress form for the GLAM ROOM on Ebay.  Olivia doesn't want the mannequin with a human head.  She wants one of the newer ones that don't have heads.  I wonder how headless mannequins  became so popular!

 I think I will have to order it new.  Maybe I can find a store that is going out of business and wants to sell one cheaply.  I am not even sure what she wants to do with a headless mannequin. I think she just wants to dress it up.

        Yesterday I dyed my gray roots!  The color I got did not work.  I was trying to go a little lighter than my naturally dark hair  Actually my real normal color now is probably all gray! My roots were still really gray this morning and I left the dye on extra time. So off I went to CVS and got 100% GRAY COVERAGE. 

  I got the medium brown but it came out way too dark ! I feel like I look like a witch!  I hope it washes out a bit if I shampoo twice a day.  I bought three boxes so I will return two and get the light brown instead. The first color was better but my roots didn't cover, the second color covered my gray roots but was way too dark.  My selfie is below! Let me know if it is too dark or is quite becoming on me.