Day 277 of 365 Days of Being Thankful

         Today I am thankful for all of the people who helped me along the way with our adoption.

It's a scary thought to go to a new country and not be able to speak the language and to be at their mercy. I was scared to go to a strange country but I was determined to do it. I honestly felt led to adopt.  That is the only way I can describe it. I was scared of the plane crashing during the 10 hour flight.  I told Dan that I was afraid of crashing and being eaten by sharks!  He told me that I would be dead from my neck snapping long before I hit the ocean!  That actually calmed down a lot of my fears! Surprisingly, Dan said OK when I told him I wanted to adopt from Ukraine.

Before we adopted, we had spoken to Dan's friends, the Maslanys.  They are also bereaved parents and adoptive parents.  They explained the process to us and sent us their portfolio so we could see what documents they had compiled. Compiling an adoption dossier is extremely time consuming, expensive and emotional.  And the paperwork often changes. Documents usually have to be redone several times! I went on several adoption boards and Facebook pages and chatted with lots of adoptive and pre-adoptive parents.Along the way I met a woman named Linda.  She was so helpful.  At the time she was planning to adopt a girl named Masha who she and her husband had hosted. Masha, age 9 at the time,  had a 6 yr old sister back in Ukraine and they were planning to adopt her too! Linda is a New York Times bestselling author and she was also a fifth grade teacher.  Ukraine shut down adoptions several times so her husband eventually gave up wanting to adopt.  He said that if God wanted them to be Masha's parents, that He would drop her on their doorstep! It is frustrating and expensive to keep redoing documents. Several years later they heard that Masha and her sister were adopted by another couple.  They were glad that the girls had a family. Fast forward a year after the adoption and the family contacted Linda and her husband and said that Masha had not bonded with them and they wanted to disrupt the adoption.  Masha remembered their names and the adoptive parents asked Linda if she wanted to readopt Masha. Of course they wanted to adopt her!! So that was pretty close to being dropped on their doorstep! I find that story so amazing!! Masha's sister was staying with the parents, they weren't willing to give her up and Masha was OK with that as long as she could stay in contact with her sister. Masha bonded like glue with Linda and her husband and six older adult children!! Fast forward another two years and the couple called again and wanted to disrupt the sister, she was 11 at the time.  And of course, again Linda and her husband said yes. A few months later, the adoptive parents called and wanted the younger sister back.  Crazy people who are heartless, I think. Those parents treated the girls like objects without any feelings. Linda and her husband had to give her back because the adoptive parents kept putting off signing the adoption papers.  Linda and her husband had no ground to stand on to keep the younger sister.   They were heartbroken but gave her back.  A few months later the adoptive parents called again and said they wanted to give her up. They wanted to start "fresh"according to them and wanted to go to Ukraine and adopt new kids.  If Ukraine knew what they did, they would never have allowed them to adopt again! I don't know if they ever did adopt again, I hope not. So Linda and her husband said yes but that the adoptive parents had to sign the paperwork immediately and they did! Masha is now a very successful hard working college Junior who commutes to school and lives with Linda and her husband. Her younger sister, age age 19, is living on her own successfully!
         I also met my friend Joni along the way.  Our Home Study Agency gave her name as a local reference and we became friendly! It's always good to have friends who adopted!  I am thinking that adoption has touched many people I know.  My sister adopted twice, my friend Nancy adopted from Foster care years ago and my friend Deb from church, also adopted two beautiful Chinese daughters! I met Deb on an adoption board when I was looking for girls Olivia's age so she had friends to play with.  Deb and I became close friends from her answering my post on the adoption board! We joined an adoptive parent group at church years ago and met other adoptive parents.
         My friend Kelly Lytle is the reason we didn't give up when we had a failed adoption. She called me when we had a failed adoption and connected me with a great facilitator. We went back a few months later and successfully adopted Olivia and two years later successfully adopted Olya.