Day 235 of 365 Days of Being Thankful

         Today I am thankful for going to  a gastroenterologist that the hospital wanted me to see after I had pancreatitis in May.  He was one of the nicest doctors I have ever had.

  This was the earliest I could get a appointment. He was such a wonderful doctor! He went through my x-rays and MRIs and explained everything to me.  He showed me where my gall bladder had been and where my pancreas is. And he said he didn't find any damage to my pancreas so he didn't think I needed more tests or surgery for the time being!! That was good news.  He also gave me the name of a doctor I could see for my sciatica!  While I was waiting, a woman poked her head in the door and said Hi Colleen!  I knew her but it took me a moment to place her and soon as she said her name, I knew who she was! Our kids all went to Catholic elementary school together.  I didn't know that she knew we adopted Olivia and Olya.  I always liked her, she was always very nice. She still looks really good, she is thin and blond! We weren't close friends but we were friendly acquaintances! I really enjoyed chatting with her and hearing about her kids and her close friends' kids. Her youngest daughter is a hair stylist! I was glad that she mentioned Amy's funeral. It always makes me happy when people don't ignore Amy's life.  We were talking about the priest scandals and the priests from the parish.  I don't belong to that church any more.  I now attend a non-denominational church based on the Bible. Our church is now switching to two morning services instead of three.  Dan and I usually go to the 8:00 service. The next service is now at 9:30, then another one at 11:00.  The church is switching to a 9:00 service and an 11:00 service.
         I am also thankful that Frankie's parents invited Olivia to his dad's birthday dinner.  I am glad that they always include her.  Dan and I had stopped for cat food and kitty litter on the way home from my doc appointment so I bought Frankie's dad an Eagles shirt. I know he loves the Eagles.  He has an Eagle tattoo! His mom told Olivia not to bring a gift but Olivia knows she has to do that if they are taking her to dinner! I told her to write her name and Frankie's name on the gift card.  They stopped at a store and got him another shirt also!
         Purging continues but it is getting harder to throw some things away! We have so many photos, what to do with them all??  I have a difficult time looking at photos of Amy that I haven't seen for awhile.  I am fine looking at the photos that are all over my house! When I see a photo of  Amy that I haven't seen for awhile, it just makes me miss her even more and I get extremely sad thinking of the life she is missing. I just hope she is somewhere where she is happy.  In the newspaper today, a heading stated that we should have a positive attitude about our faith so I will try to do that.   I think there is power in positivity.   My friend Priscilla gave me a book titled Codependent No More. I just started reading it.  I am not sure who I am codependent with.  Inside the book is a slip of paper that says God has a plan for your life.  It is handwritten and not Priscilla's handwriting.  I am not sure what the plan is for my life so I'm glad that God has the plan. When you lose a child, your plan becomes to just survive and exist through each next day.  I had never planned to adopt two girls so that must have been God's plan for me.  Amy had always wanted to adopt so when the thought came to me, we just went for it and it has been so wonderful.(except for the teenage years!!!!)

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