Day 98 of 365 Days of Being Thankful

      Today I am thankful that my friend Sue Ganble called me! I was so happy to hear her voice!  We connected through a mutual person in 2001 because we both lost our children the same year, 2001.  Amy died in May and her adult son Bobby died in July, 2001.We both had completely unexpected losses of healthy adult children.  He died of a heart defect no one knew he had.  Sue is the kindest, nicest person ever. We use to talk almost everyday at first, then every few months and now every few years. But the second we talk, the time dissolves and I can feel her heart.  Bobby had only been married less than a year, he was a high school teacher at Bonner and his wife's name was Amy. Everyone loved Bobby and his wife.  Amy was from a huge Irish family of 7 siblings.  My friend Sue just adored and still adores her daughter-in-law Amy. Amy was four months pregnant with Olivia when Bobby died.  Olivia is now 16 and looks a lot like Bobby. She says that she sees Bobby in Olivia and that must be so wonderful for her and her husband Bob.  Olivia was adopted by her mother's husband and has only known him as her father.  So Olivia has 3 sets of grandparents. Sue only gets to see Olivia a few times a year because Amy and her husband both come from huge families.  Sue is thankful that she gets to see Olivia a few times a year but knows it would be so different if her son was alive. I love Sue. Sue is very religious and believes Amy and Bobby are in heaven. I hope that is all true.  I invited her to come to my daytime bereaved moms lunch group.  She is going to try to come in May. I always feel thankful when I talk to Sue, she lifts up my spirit!
       Today I am also  thankful that Dan and I laughed about our ages. When we were looking at the old photos that Olivia found, we saw that Dan had a lot of hair back then! 

Now his hair is so much thinner and whiter.  He said to Olivia, look at this photo, you did this to me! Those photos were from 11 years ago and I guess we really start aging in our sixties! Dan's eyebrows were still dark brown 11 years ago! My eyebrows are now starting to get some gray in them!  I didn't have as many wrinkles 11 years ago! The changes are so gradual, I guess we don't see them daily! And maybe our eyes were made not to see as clearly so that we don't notice them as much! My friend Jackie always tells me I look wonderful.  I think she is one of those people with eyesight issues!  I use No7 serum and moisturizer everyday to try to slow down some of the aging! I think I am losing the battle! I use wrinkle cream when I put on make-up and I think it would be a good thing to wrinkle cream almost my whole face! There are more wrinkle places than not wrinkle places.  I still color my hair, I wonder when we give up on coloring! I am not ready to do that yet!! I never felt old until recently! I spend too much time at doctor appointments! I don't think that Dan and I will ever move south because we wouldn't want to leave Amy.  I just couldn't do that. After Dan and I die, I don't expect that many people will be visiting us.  Maybe when we're dead and with Amy, if there is an afterlife, we won't care about anything like that.  When I walk through the cemetery and see graves with no flowers or decorations, I feel bad.  I can always tell when it is a child's grave because they always have visitors and flowers and decorations.  That is all we can do for our kids when they are gone. I don't like Sts. Peter and Paul cemetery because they throw away decorations after a week or so.
      I am excited that there is a big flea market this Sunday!  I usually go with my best friend Priscilla.  We both wind up buying stuff we don't need! My sister is going to go with me.  I invited Olivia to go with me too because she might find some stuff for her GLAM ROOM. My bestie Priscilla can't go with me because she is going to her granddaughter's First Communion in Pittsburgh this weekend.  I guess I'll have to give her a pass!  Keara, her beautiful granddaughter, is her deceased daughter Krissy's child. Keara's dad still includes Priscilla and her ex-husband, Krissy's dad, in everything and I am so happy about that. Keara's dad loves her and is a good dad. I am glad that Keara has so many people who love her.  I have met so many bereaved parents who are not included in their grandchildren's lives when their own child has died.
      I am still cleaning up the glitter from our crafts.  I think I carried that glitter all over the house! Everything is a bit sparkly!  I swept, mopped, and vacuumed but I still see sparkles all over the house! I need to be more careful!
    Sunday is my friend Jackie's daughter's baby shower and I am excited to go. This will be her daughter's first baby.  Her daughter Bonnie went to school and graduated with Amy. They knew each other but weren't in the same group of friends.  Jackie and Bill are really excited about this baby! They already have two adorable grandchildren that they babysit one day a week! I think they will be driving to NY a few times a month to babysit this baby too!